What is is with those hilarious “jokers” at pedestrian crossings who shout things at you as you cycle through?
Yesterday, I had a shell suited youth shout “BANG!” (literally, he just said “bang!”) as I went past him. I guess I was supposed to think either (a) I’d just got a puncture or (b) he’d just shot me, but neither of those requires a noise that sounds even remotely like a someone shouting “bang!”.
Perhaps I should have played along and fallen down in the middle of the road clutching an imaginary bullet wound. I’d like to think he’d feel bad and rush to my aid, but realistically I suspect he’d just point, laugh and possibly try to steal my shoes.
As well as the side-splitting gunshot joke, I’ve had the following shouted at me at various times:
- “Here mate, lend us that will ye!”
- “Here mister giveus a backie home willya”
- “Get those knees up!” (I’m clipped in, knee height is fixed, idiot)
- “Ooo look he’s got those little cycling boots as well” (I don’t)
But seriously, is it funny? What am I missing?
John Girvin is a largely waterproof recreational and commuter cyclist from Belfast, Northern Ireland.
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